Socializ-what-a?

Since Summer is upon us I have found many people beginning to ask the question "Should I homeschool?" This is a great time to do this after all. School is almost out, you will have a whole summer to prepare, you don't have to worry about the complications of pulling your child out of school, and even better so many curriculum sales! 
I have noticed with this trend in many of my homeschooling groups that several people are coming out of the woodworks with many questions as they dip their toes in the Homeschooling pool. Of course the one I see the most often is the dreaded "SOCIALIZATION" question. It goes something like this:

1. I want to homeschool, but will my kids be weirdoes?
2. I don't want my children to be taken away from their "friend time"
3. How will my children be able to cope in society as adults if all their school is at home?
4. my personal favorite, I want to, but I am terrified to tell my family because I know they will ask me about socialization and I really have no idea about it?

"The idea that children need

to be around other children

in order to be 'socialized'

is perhaps the most dangerous

and extravagant myth

in education and child rearing

today"

-Dr. Raymond Moore

So lets talk about the glorious socialization the majority of kids are getting in public school 

Not trying to offend anyone who has kids in Public School this is just the facts of it:

Well first off lets put 30+ kids of the same age in a class together because that's how it will be in the real world...um no...

Next lets get them competitive against each other for school awards, best grades, and teacher favoritism.

• Let me just give a quick example of this: we have all had that one kid in the class who had to be better then everyone else. I had one growing up that was rather persistent. I remember one instant in particular where an entire 1 1/2 period of class was taken up with her arguing with the teacher over every question she got wrong while peer grading our papers in class. When the peer grading was over and she got her paper back she then began to argue how ridiculous it was that she had a A- and continued to argue her points until she was satisfied with a A. Not only was this a big fat waste of the day for the rest of us but also just another chance for this student to have reiterated to her that All that matters in life is that you end up on top and not what you learn in the process. 

Even better you are always going to have that one "trouble maker" in your class. Oh did you know that most schools keep a running log on what teachers think about students to be shared with the next years teacher. 

• So it's no wonder if little Jimmy has trouble in Kindergarden with sitting still and so Mrs. Manning doesn't really have many nice things to say that next year in 1st grade Mr. Smith will already be "pre-warned" and pre-decided that little Jimmy is a "trouble maker". I'm totally sure that's not going to cause perpetual problems in which little Jimmy gives up trying and settles for just barely getting by. But don't worry every teach he has will always pair him up with someone who does reasonably well for all class projects so said student can do the work of two and little Jimmy can just barley scoot by to be the next teachers problem. (and yes I have had teachers tell me they are partnering me up with kids so that they can pass the class)

We all know the big "B" word...Bulling that is. Most who are for public school will tell you that bulling is a way of life and it happens even when you are adults so might as well learn to deal with it now. 

• I was bullied as early as 1st grade (thats just the earliest I can remember) and told constantly I was ugly...over the entire course of my elementary education and at several different schools. In one particular instance in 7th grade a boy sitting next to me asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I told him I wanted to be an actress. He proceeded to laugh at me, then became genuinely shocked that I was serious and said "Oh, really, why? you know they only let pretty people do that." Lets just say that was one of the finale nails in my acting career. I'm guessing you can imagine how great my self esteem was by the time I entered High School. Now let me tell you how many times I have been told I am ugly since leaving public school....a big fat 0! Good thing I had all that teasing and self-torment as a youth to prepare me for the real world.
• Lets talk about more serious and even physical bulling and  then that's about all I'll say on the matter. In 6th grade I moved to a new school and within the first week had a run in with the class bully. Lets just say it ended with his hands around my neck and my face turning blue. So there I was sitting in the principle's office being told how sorry he was this happened to me, and that this kid had had problems in the past so don't worry it's not my fault. I later found out he had reached his last chance and was now expelled and being sent to a school for "troublesome kids" oh by the way did I tell you that school was right next door? Oh and did I mention that it also used the same bus as my school? And that upon him clearing out his desk he made sure to tell me that the next time he saw me he was going to kill me? There is a hardy dose of fear for ya. I'm sure this is something all kids need to grow into responsible well rounded adults.

Let me just give one more point then I will move on. Your kids won't ever experience others views. They will be shut up in their own little bubble, with mommy-dear, brainwashed to believe all you say. When they enter the real world, they won't know how to act around people who don't share their beliefs/values/morals/whatever.

• Now ON this point I do agree that public schools do benefit in introducing children to a variety of beliefs, values, morals, or even the lack there of. Sadly it is the later that is the most concerning. I have often heard from others Christians say that their children are "the light of the world" and should not be hid. More often then not I find that even if you are an influence to others by your good example you yourself are also influenced by others bad example. And as I said I experienced much good but let me share some of the bad:
• I had a friend on several occasions call me and tell me she was committing suicide or had just slit her wrists. I was 13 and too young to understand what to do in that situation and never knew how to properly get her the help she needed
• I saw a straight A "good girl" rebel against her "stereotype" and by the end of her freshman year was hooked on drugs, drinking, and sleeping around (thats 13 people!)
• I knew a boy who had "come out of the closet" and didn't know what to do because he wasn't attached to boys but had been told his whole life (by other students) he was gay so he HAD to be.
• I also had teachers on several occasions and  y several teachers, upon finding out that I am LDS, attack me and/or make fun of my beliefs in front of the whole class. 

Now think of your own school experience and decide for yourself if you think the "good" parts of public school socialization is worth the bad. Frankly, to me it's just not! I could also be giving all kinds of stats on the disadvantages of all these and so many more problems of socialization in a public school but really that's not what I'm here to talk about.

Now lets take a minute to talk about those CRAZY HOMESCHOOLED KIDS! 

So many studies have been conducted to not only prove that homeschooling increases kids abilities on ACT/SAT scores and that it breaks down all barriers of abilities to preform due to ethnicity/income/or parents education level. Now there is generations of Homeschooled kids (from the 70s, 80s, and 90s) that have entered the work force and studies on them have been conducted to see how well they are adjusting to adult life. Let me share a few real quick:

• 15yrs later: Home-educated Canadians had this to say:(from the washingtontimes) 69% of homeschooled Canadians age 15-34 were socially engaged (participated in organized activities at least once a week) compared to 48% of the comparable population. Not only was income higher comparatively but amazingly where 11% of the population of Canadians 15 to 34 were receiving government assistance as a means of income there was no source of homeschooled participants on welfare.
• HSLDA 2003 study: This showed that 74% of Homeschoolers continue on to College as compared to 46% of the general populace.  Only 4.2% of homeschoolers found government and politics to be too confusing compared to 35% of U.S. adults. during this study 76% of homeschooler graduates said they voted in the last 5yrs compared to 29% of the equal populace. Most importantly they studied how happy people in the U.S. were feeling. (And really when it comes down to it, in my opinion, this is all that matters) 59% of home-educated graduates said they were very happy compared to 28% of their equal group. 
  

This all just blows my mind because the way that Homeschooling has changed in the last 10yrs is leaps and bounds away from what it was for them!

There are so many groups, co-ops, youth activities, volunteer opportunities (and the list goes on) now for homeschoolers that just wasn't an option back then, due to the fact that they were just a small amount of the population. The idea that my kids will never interact with other people is just unfathomable! 

Not to mention that they won't just be socializing with kids their exact same age but people from all walks of life. My friend just recently shared online a trip her kids were able to take to a nursing home where they heard stories from Vietnam vets for Memorial Day. Kids can attend religious youth groups, bible studies, camps, and activities (often all free and no matter your personal denomination). We personally attend a Co-op of a different faith then ours and many kids of other faiths also attend. They see a mixture of all the good in the world. Isn't that so much better then good kids being poured into a vortex of bad situations? They are also given different opportunities in the High School years to learn, work, and experience things that they would not normally have experience because of the flexibility of Homeschooling. 

The Bottom Line...tee he he 

But really this is all just BLAH BLAH BLAH to me...this is what it boils down to and what I tend to tell people:

"Weird/Socially awkward kids" are the product of weird/socially awkward parents. And no one can say they haven't met a weird kid in public school. 

If you think teaching my children in a loving, peaceful environment where they can grow at their own pace, and even better love to learn, where they can learn to be who they want to be without the pressures of peers and stereotypes, where I can teach them to be polite, politically aware, confident, morally sound, and contributors to society before sending them out into the world will make them unsocialized? Then YES my kids will be weirdos! And I'm ok with that.